The Student Doctor Forum has a great thread, titled Things I Learn From My Patients. It’s a collection of those heartwarming, life affirming lessons that can only come from seeing people experience the purest moments of their lives. We’re lucky to be able to look over these young doctors’ shoulders as they learn what it means to heal.

Some of my favorites:

never leave your last refill of percocet in plain site after your docs office closes if one of these 3 friends is coming over for dinner:

1. some dude
2. my friend
3. that bitch

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Latex paint, despite being thick and creamy, does not coat your stomach and provide the same relief as pepto bismol.

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Drinking Pine Sol diluted in a 5 gallon bucket, shared with 5 friends, is not a good way to get drunk.

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If you are going to get into a fight, and have a prosthetic eye, make sure you take it out first…..and, for safe keeping, shove it up your vagina…..the, realize that you cannot get it out and go to the ED for removal

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No matter how annoyed you are at being incarcerated dont slash open your scrotum and shove razor blades up your urethra.