Say hello to Patrick, ladies. His turn-ons include spay nozzles that don’t clog, Def Leppard, and chicks with big racks who don’t press charges.

The Ohio man was nabbed [...] for “abusing harmful intoxicants” as he attempted to make a purchase at Bellaire’s Dollar General Store. The 41-year-old Tribett, it seems, had been huffing spray paint and needed a refill. According to a Bellaire Police Department report, Tribett’s pupils were constricted and he replied slowly to their questions. Oh, and “officers observed the paint on face and hands”.

You can learn

more about Patrick at (where else?)
The Smoking Gun.

Yes, I know, we’ve met Patrick before. I’ve been going through the mailing list archives and I couldn’t start up a new thing without him. What would my fans think?

Besides, I don’t care what Kibera says, this is the greatest photo ever taken of
a human.